Therapy starts on Friday.
...yup.
It's like, brief happiness I guess... like it lasts for as long as I'm not thinking about anything at all on my own. When I'm talking to other people, I'm just great but then I get alone for three seconds and snap like a twig. This is hell. Like, I described this to my friend Bobby at lunch today because he's one of the only people who I really like.. talk to about my problems and he was like "I know you don't believe in any of that stuff Natty but that sounds like the devil to me." and I was like "lol you think so." I don't think it's the devil, it's just, it's depression and depression IS the devil. I know this is all I've talked about in these entries for the past few days but it's all I really think about and know about anymore. Like, I don't know anything anymore. The obsessional thoughts have pretty much stripped me of certainty on anything so all I know is that I'm depressed and I desperately want my best friend. And I'm going to get fat again if I keep drinking cream soda like this.
anyway sorry for rambling f-list. whoop.